From m-natarajan@nospam.nwu.edu Mon Apr 30 11:15:03 2001 Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2001 19:47:45 GMT From: Madhu Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: TAN: Christian Church Service with Eric Mark Loy eloquently scribed : >In article <970kuk$899$1@bob.news.rcn.net>, "Bryan Vakos" > wrote: >> Maybe it's just a simple ritual confused by over-educated types with too >> much time on their hands? > ><....> > >> Besides, humanity killed itself, not Christ. The whole point of the exercise >> (the aforementioned simple ritual) is to remind the lot of us that someone >> else voluntarily took the punishment instead. Any debate over whether bread >> and wine actually become body and flesh is relevant only to those with too >> much schooling and no gainful employment. >My my...aren't you the sanctimonious prick. >Jeezus H. Christ on a Ritz cracker. >No thanks, I'm on a very strict low-fat, saviour-free diet. >But you go ahead and have two helpings of Jesus for me, 'kay? >And chug a gallon of Christ's blood on me, too. >ML Mark, You may be closer to the money than you think. Every wannabe Hindu gets told this lesson [1] about St. Thomas. Yes, THE St. Thomas of the dirty dozen fame. History records that he ended up in India fleeing persecution, and spent the rest of his life trying to proselytize and convert us'n's heathen. During part of his misguided attempts to reach out and understand heathen beliefs, St.T: "You guys worship cows?" Heathen: Yup, Holy Master. Om. St.T: "Like genuine 100% bovine moo-ers with horns on one end and shitters on the other and all" Heathen: Yup, Holy Master. Om. St.T: "You mean just like them be-yoo-tifull critters grazin 'pon yon pasture just yesterday ". Heathen: Yes, Holy Master. Speaking of which, I dont see the sacred cows there any more. Om. St.T: "mmmm. Sacred cow steak. . Gotta do another one tomorrow" Much acrimony followed, and in the ensuing melee, the first documented Hindu practical joker (quite appropriately my ancestor) went up and fiddled with the Bible according to St.Thomas and propagated the belief that if them Christians could eat Holy Cows, then us'n's-double-damned heathen could eat Jesus Christ. Since it is the nature of cows to be a replenishable resource and the nature of Jesus Christs to not be so, trans /con /whatever-the-heck-you-wanna-call-it/ substantiation followed [2]. [1] Its word of mouth and extremely hush-hush, and Im probably gonna get my badge revoked for this... [2] It is also quite appropriate to mention that Christians who are more tolerant of other faiths are beginning to be aware of this exchange, and in the spirit of political correctness have pioneered the new phase of 100% genuine imitation steak made entirely from soy protein.[3] [3] Thankfully, the spirit of political correctness has not rooted strong enough for them to consider the small numbers of nomadic tribes in outer New Guinea who spend all day praying to the soy bean.