Subject: TAN: The Novak Matrix (Corrected Version) From: spiffy_mctoad@hotmail.com.NOSPAM (Alex Goddard) Organization: Daleks 'R Us Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.84.172.52 I missed several small errors the first time, despite a lot of proof-reading. They're bothering the hell out of me, so here goes again. I apologize for any inconvenience. On 9 Oct 2000 01:42:57 GMT, mhoye@prince.carleton.ca (Michael Hoye) wrote: [SACAIGAP] >"There is no buffoon." Or... A techno beat is playing as two men in black suits walk down a crowded city street. The leader of the two has the words "Hot Hot Hot" embroidered in neon yellow on the back of his electric-blue trench-coat; his round, bearded face bore no mark of pain or fear or guilt. It was proud, and took pride in being proud; his expression was a strangely comforting blend of serene determination and certainty. He passes effortlessly through the crowd, while the other is constantly being bumped into by other pedestrians. The leader begins to speak to his follower, even though his follower is being walked into like he isn't even there... "Alt.fan.robert-jordan is a system, Newbie. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around. What do you see? Business men, teachers, satan worshi^W^W^W lawyers, mentally-challanged syphallitic monkeys. The very minds of the people we are trying to enlighten. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system, and that makes them fuckwits. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to have an intelligent conversation. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it. Were you listening to me Newbie, or were you looking at the Loy in a red dress? Newbie jerks his head around to face Novak, "I was..." "Look again. Freeze it." Novak says as Newbie turns back around. What was once a very avuncular man is now a chimpanzee dressed like a clown with a sign on his chest and back that says, "FLAME ME!" He is pointing a gun at his foot. "This...this isn't the alt.fan.robert-jordan?" "No. It's another training program designed to teach you one thing. If you are not one of us, you are one of them." "What are they?" "Sentient trolls[1]. They crosspost to any group still hard-wired to their system. That means that anyone we haven't unplugged is potentially a student. Inside alt.fan.robert-jordan, they are everyone and they are no one, but only because they change their From: address too fucking much. We have survived by hiding from them, and by running from them; but they are the gatekeepers. They are guarding all the doors. They are holding all the keys, which means that, sooner or later, someone is going to have to fight them." "Someone?" asks Newbie. "I won't lie to you, Newbie. Every single man or woman who has stood their ground, everyone who has argued with a student has given up and plonked them. But where they have failed, you will succeed." "Why?" "I've seen a student put his head through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire flame-throwers at them and hit nothing but air. Yet their strength and their speed are still based on stupidity. Because of that, they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be." "What are you trying to tell me, that I can dodge posts?" "No, Newbie. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to." [1] - Yes, I know it's a contradiction in terms... -- Alex Goddard Lord of the Morning Cup(s) of Coffee "Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins!" -Armondo Guitierrez