Reply-To: "Drew Gillmore" From: "Drew Gillmore" Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan References: <7j8c6d$icr$1@news-int.gatech.edu> <7j9307$i7p@hacgate2.hac.com> <1999Jun4.105717@130.62.16.132> <7j9hto$7gh@rac9.wam.umd.edu> <1999Jun4.165627@130.62.16.132> Subject: Re: I plead insanity Date: Sat, 5 Jun 1999 03:13:24 -0500 Bill Garrett wrote: : oilcan@wam.umd.edu (Chad R Orzel) writes: : } Bill Garrett wrote: : } >I hope you're amused now, Chad. : } I was hoping for literate bickering, actually. : : Hmm. Literate bickering is so overdone in the rec.arts.sf hierarchy. : How about a different take on it... such as business-like bickering? : : : To: : Bob C. Jones, Chief Ignorant Fuckwad : Stupid Products, Inc. : 1500 Dumbass Road : Smelly-as-shit, NJ 06836 : : Dear Toad-Fucking Smeghead: : : Enclosed please find 13 ounces of festering cow shit. : : Very Truly Yours, : : Mr. GOD-LIKE Garrett To: Mr. GOD OF HIS OWN SHIT SACK Garrett Idiot Consumer at Large 1235 I Can't Count Avenue Bunghole Heap, CA 95912 Dear Misshapen Troglodyte Lover: We received your thirteen ounces of festering cow shit. We found it unsuitable for our purposes, and I am inclined to ask, did you reprocess it before you sent it? We know that this is something that a Dumb-Ass Consumer like yourself would do, and while it is a far cry better than your norm of eating your own feces and not thinking it stinks, it all comes out the same in the end. We're returning it with a free shipment of our deluxe elephant scat package, sure to make even your vomitous mass of a hovel smell much better than it does now. We advise that in the future, you refrain from pissing in the corner of your living room like a moronic spastic dwarf. Thank you for your contribution, and in the future should you feel the need to send us anymore of your piss-ant offering, feel free to fuck off. Sincerely, The Almighty Drew Returns Department Products for the Millennia