From spiffy_mctoad@hotmail.com.NOSPAM Sat Oct 14 13:57:53 2000
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan
Subject: Filk: Tar Valon
From: spiffy_mctoad@hotmail.com.NOSPAM (Alex Goddard)
Date: Sat, 14 Oct 2000 18:57:53 GMT

Fresh from the Filk Factory with apologies to Green Day:

Tar Valon
(to the tune of "Misery")

Nynaeve was a young wisdom from Emond's Field.
She had a large braid, and bad temper too.
It started when three ran away,
following Moiraine one day,
she hitched a ride to Tar Valon.

Master Cauthon had a catastrophic incident,
He took something from Where the Shadow Waits,
He went paranoid, it's too late.
Now he's got holes that he hates,
Healin' up in Tar Valon.

And he's gonna get drunk,
when he's in a funk,
The memories from warrior days.
And he asks why,
Brigette doesn't know.
The battle hymns come from years way, long gone,
in Tar Valon.

Well Siuan was a fisher from the Tairen Maul,
She runs the Aes Sedai in "Tower Town,"
They found her helping the Dragon,
Stilled her for her secret pawn in the name
of Tar Valon.

Well Elayne hit the road for TV City,
Riding with the captured man, Logain.
With Rand al'Thor she will elope,
With first-sister and the dope,
and Min she'll fuck eternally.

And they're gonna be tired,
When they're done,
Their muscles scream out for some rest.
And they'll scream, "Ohhhh, Rand.  
Such gentle hands."
As they go from head down to the crotch lawn,
in Tar Valon.

The Dark One's on your trail now once again, boy.
Madness grows in your mind until you die.
The flame and void will fill your mind with Saidin,
'Cause it's not your choice, it's what you are.

And we're gonna get burned,
On the Day of Return,
The fire spills from the Pit of Dhoom.
And Rand screams, "Why?!?"
Moiraine doesn't know.
The wheel will weave as it wills and so on,
In Tar Valon.

-- 
Alex Goddard
Lord of the Morning Cup(s) of Coffee
"Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins!"
    -Armondo Guitierrez