Date: 15 Jul 2000 06:16:29 GMT
From: "John S. Novak, III" <jsn@concentric.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan
Subject: Re: Hey, New People!


On Sat, 15 Jul 2000 05:40:57 GMT, Mr. Whitecloak
<mr_whitecloak@my-deja.com> wrote:


>As I've never taken the time to actualy read the FAQ before (well past
>the table of contents anyway)...


>Hmmm. Seems to be a bit wanting. For instance I can regale you with
>quasi-fascist political rhetoric then go on to say how the sooner
>the 'ole Hand of the Light gets to work its magic on all the members of


Well, just for you, here's the Bonehead Abbreviated Newsgroup FAQ:


      Section 1:  Old Stuff and Charter
      
      This group was created a few years ago.
      It's about Robert Jordan's books, and related shit.
      
      Section 2:  Most Frequently Asked Questions
      
      Q:  Who is Robert Jordan?
      A:  What kind of moron _are_ you, anyway?
      
      Q:  What are the book titles?
      A:  Go check Amazon, for Chrissakes.  Lazy shit.
      
      Q:  What's the next book?  When can I get it?
      A:  Go check Tor's site.  Jesus, what do you think this is?
      
      Q:  Hey, wouldn't it be neat if we scanned "New Spring" or the books,
          and posted them all?
      A:  No.  It's a copyright violation.  We'll hunt you down and burn you
          alive, then bury the ashes in a lovingly used chamber pot.
      
      Section 3:  Courtesy and Conventions
      
      3.1:  General Courtesy
      
      Lurk.
      
      Don't be an asshole, asshole.  
      
      And write legibly.  I don't have enough time to do all the things I
      want to do, now.  Getting eyestrain from your malformed crap doesn't
      even make the cut of things I'd like to do if there were 2400 hours in
      the day.


                Lurk more.
      
      3.2:  Spoilers
      
      Oh, use some common sense, for Chrissake.  Nothing else is on topic
      except book discussions.  Do you think that two weeks or so after the
      release of a new book, any of us _haven't_ read it?
      
      Section 4:  Common Abbreviations
      
      Lurk even more.
      
      Section 5:  Newsgroup Resources
      
      The Wheel of Time FAQ is at  http://linuxmafia.com/jordan/      
      
      Read it.  Understand it.  Respect it.


      Accuse us of worshipping it, and we will rip your spine out and show
      it to you.  Trot out that goddam "One third the FAQ is wrong!" quote
      and we will rip your spine out and strangle you to death with it.
      
Don't you feel special, now?
                
--
John S. Novak, III              jsn@concentric.net
The Humblest Man on the Net