From: mloy@iupui.edu (Mark Loy) Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: [TAN] "Worst book ever" Date: Wed, 06 Feb 2002 13:26:23 -0500 In article , The Great Gray Skwid wrote: > We leaned closer as Johan Gustafsson whispered: > > The Great Gray Skwid preached to the perverted... > > > We leaned closer as Johan Gustafsson whispered: > > > > The Great Gray Skwid preached to the perverted... > > > > > We leaned closer as Corey M Seward <9cms4@qlink.queensu.ca> whispered: > > [snip] > > > > > > Hey, why is everyone except Skwid staring at me like that? ;) > > > > > I...I'm starting to get kind of a rep, aren't I. > > > > > Scary. > > > > I think it's more adorable than scary. > > > Now *that's* scary. > > > What's next? Plush Skwid dolls from Wizard's Attic? Could you still get > > > them in Paisley? I hate paisley... > > http://members.wir-dormagener.de/flangel/octi.gif > > Bah. It's an octopus. > > I never understood why there's a veritable *flood* of Octopus toys and > jewelry, but almost nothing in the lovely squid. It's prejudice, d'ya > hear me?! This has not always been true. It's not well known but next to the pussycat the ancient Egyptions revered the squid above all animals. By way of an example, consider, if you will, the ancient Sphinx--which in Egyptian means, "Sphinx" but sounds very much like "squid" if you are almost completely deaf--was actually meant to be a giant and awe-inspiring reclining squid with its many tentacled arms stretched out ominously giving all the feeling of majesty and infinite wisdom but due to a mix-up at the Egyptian Office of Public Works became, instead, the creature that you see today. Then consider the Mayan Empire on the Yucatan penisula. Go ahead, I'll wait. And then there were the Aztecs whose primary and most fearsome god, Quezexetlazoxetlquasisqid, was none other than an extremely powerful cross-manifestation of a squid and a ground squirrel. The little known Ying-yang Dynasty in China was famous for having its crack military divisions stand atop the great wall hurling flaming squids down upon its enemies with horrific consequences for both the enemy and the squid. During the California Gold Rush it was a common practice to use squids to pan for gold. And it wasn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow that caused the devastating Chicago fire but was, in fact Burt Johnsons prized gerbil. But you asked about toys. And I'm glad you did. Plush squid toys haven't taken off like plush sea urchins or plush duck-billed platypi but they ain't no plush paramecium, either. Why collectors will pay upwards of x amount of dollars just to rub their semi-rigid dicks on a choice example of an Elizabethan England Era fluffy squid snuff box or an early American Indian squid totem or a new-in-the-box squid porcelain doll resplendent in Spring Cotillian garb _with_ the bonnet, of course. So Skwid, as you can see...squids have taken their place in history along with other squishy denizens of the deep like the Cuttlefish and sea cucumber. And don't dispair, it's my understanding that a brand new toy and Saturday morning cartoon will be out just in time for the summer rush..."Squicky Squid". I can't wait. ML