From: Troy Terry <troyt@eventus.com>
Subject: TAN:  Excerpt from POD
Date: 23 Jun 1998 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <35900808.9E7A2F15@eventus.com>
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Organization: Surely you jest
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan


Having broken into RJ's house to make sure that he
is, contrary to rumor, alive and well, I couldn't
help but steal a few pages from the POD manuscript.
Turns out that there will be a debate between Egwene
and Elaida in front of the Council of Sitters, mod-
erated by Cadsuane.  

--------------------------------

CADS:    Elaida, why do you think you're the best choice
         for Amyrlin?

ELAIDA:  To maintain the serenity of these proceedings,
         I will not mention my rival's origin in the ass
         end of the world, her provincial foolishness,
         her infatuation with a certain Whitecloak officer,
         or her suspicious ... attachment to her horse;
         instead, I mention only my record for stilling the
         shit out of whoever gets in my way.  We need
         strength in these times.

EGWENE:  I'm sure the Light is well served by your cruel
         lesbo-gestapo tactics, Elaida, but the Tower can't
         survive alone anymore.  We need to build alliances.
         Don't get too big for your britches, sweetie.
         [Squints at Elaida]  Oops, too late.

ELAIDA:  What, does this dress make me look fat?

EGWENE:  No dear, that would be your ass.

ELAIDA:  [Staggered, but recovers] And you accused _me_ of 
         "irregularities" in those late-night Red Ajah 
         pillowfights... why are you looking at _my_ butt, eh?

EGWENE:  [Dripping honey]  There's nowhere else to look.

ELAIDA:  Why, you little ... [Regains composure]  Okay,
         explain your little Aiel spank-fetish, hmm?

SITTERS: Eeeeeeeeuuw!

EGWENE:  [Blushes]  Er...  

ELAIDA:  [Crowing]  And why is it that in Salidar my spies
         report that that little minx Aviendha begged you
         to beat her, eh?  Does the phrase, "Use the stick,
         Eggie" ring a bell?

EGWENE:  Um ... I'm being taken out of context?  [Rallies]
         Explain to me what you _actually_ meant when you
         told Pevara, "Imagine a flower opening to the Light,
         mmmm, imagine the sap pulsing, feel it, know it, be
         it, ah, ah, ..."

SITTERS:  Eeeeeeeuuw!

ELAIDA:  [Discomfited] Er, a training excercise?  And what about
         your little "personal secretary" Halima?

CADS:    Vileness!  Enough of this.  Sitters, what say you?

GREEN SITTER:  Oh Ivhon, IVHON ... er, what?

RED SITTER:    How 'bout a mud-wrestling match, winner take all?

BLUE SITTER:   Avast matey, we've a pikefish in the nets, eh?

GRAY SITTER:   Can't we talk about it some more?

YELLOW SITTER: You are only coming through in waves, man.

WHITE SITTER:  This does not compute.

BROWN SITTER:  I'm sorry, what are we here for?

ASHA'MAN SITTER:  Chicks!


-------------------------------

Pax,
T. Terry