From: mloy@iupui.edu (Mark Loy) Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: [TAN] Corrective Lenses, Etc Date: Mon, 19 Aug 2002 15:34:09 -0500 In article , Ben Ryan wrote: > P. Korda wrote: > > Michael Bruce wrote: > > > > [contact lenses] > > >>My first question is, do the glasses-wearing persons here have similar > >>reasons for not wearing contacts? Different reasons? > > > > Both those reasons. I CANNOT stand having anything touch my > > eyeballs. I once went to the eye doctor, and they tried to do some > > test which involved poking me in they eye with some device (I think it > > was to test for glaucoma), and I simply couldn't do it. No matter how > > I tried not to, I kept flinching. > > Just a note - I'm the same way. Example: when I was six, I caught a log > in the eye out in the woods, and had to go to the hospital. The doctor, > upon examining me, decided he needed to dab some dye in my eye to see if > I'd scratched my cornea. He's got my face cupped in one hand, swab of > discolored tissue in the other, closing in, and he says, "Okay, this may > sting just a litt-" I was out the door and down the hall before anyone > could respond. They had to have five or six big, burly orderlies hold me > down while he put that tissue swab in my eye, and my sisters were crying > in the hallway from the blood-curdling screams I was making. > > So I'm a little protective of my eyes. This reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago... So, let's set the Wayback Machine to sometime in 1994...I was in my old house on 12052 E. 65th Street playin' "rough" with Eric on the sofa. Eric, just over a year old, had, as most children do, extremely sharp little baby fingernails and as he was gigglin' and jostlin' around "fighting" with daddy, managed to shove one of those nasty buggers right the fuck into my eye putting a real impressive scratch on my cornea. Oh, the humanity. That hurt like a motherfucker without lubricant. Damn. And the pain just wouldn't go away. As soon as I could I went to my eye-doctor, a simply wonderful woman named Dr. Rhodes, who upon getting me in the eye-examining chair thingee and lookin' at my eye with that really cool eye-lookin' contraption said, "in just a second you're gonna be in love with me" and then put some eye-drops in my eye that *instantly* removed the pain. To this day no greater love hath I found. Fuck if that wasn't the greatest feeling I've ever had and I've had some pretty incredible feelings, let me tell you. There was that first time I stuck my dick in the business end of a shopvac whilst working as a night janitor at the Castleton Sears store...oh, my mercy! Or the time I managed to get a pack of precocious kitty-cats to powerlick some Peter Pan Extra Creamy from the "Nazi Helmet" area of my engorged and pulsating love-wifflebat whilst watching reruns of Dallas on a big screened TV...oh, yeah! But this was *infinitely* more wonderful. Dr. Rhodes...you shall forever be in my dreams. Okay, time to set the Wayback Machine to August 19, 2002. Hope you had a nice trip. Buh-bye now! Please tell your friends to fly with us again, some time. Watch your head as you disembark. ML