From: mloy@iupui.edu (Mark Loy) Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: [TAN] FFX Date: Wed, 09 Jan 2002 11:04:10 -0500 In article , SOteric2@msn.com wrote: > On Wed, 09 Jan 2002 00:02:45 GMT, lparkinson@mindspring.com (Laura M. > Parkinson) wrote: > >"Facial hair is eeeeevil." > > Dude. Facial hair is so cosmically sensual. Is it ever! Why...slap a great big scruffy gob of ZZ Top upside my ball sack and we're talkin' bring yer lunch and stay for breakfast! Or Osama bin Laden. Yum. Shove that mangy mo-fo's Islamic Jihading puss right the fuck into my crotch while I'm a drivin' highway 70 eastbound, put the soundtrack from "Hair" in the CD player, and let me suck down a couple of White Castle's and you can just stick a fork in me cause ol' Marcus'll never have it better than that. > I read the lustings after Orlando Bloom in that thread up there ^ > with some amusement. Long blonde hair, soft features, pale, > translucent skin...he's a *girl;* -and y'all can't prove otherwise. > > If I loaned that fella a high-throated antique lace blouse to cover up > the Adam's Apple, a short skirt and some tasteful heels, it would be > close competition as to which of us would be hit on more by the men at > the local heterosexual bar in the course of an evening. And stockings with garter belts...got to have that. And candy-colored lipstick. Not Mounds or Snickers, mind you as you could get confused about which end youra kissin'. No, soma that faggotty hot pink stripy shit that your grandma has had congealed together in a glass bowl in the living room since 1968. > I like men. I like men that look like _men._ Oh...like a manly man. I'm bettin' that those beer commercials where the real man's man type fucker is workin' on his car, all sexy greasy and smellin' like an exhaust manifold from a '81 Vette, and he reaches down and grabs a big-assed hunk of powdered donut and chases it with a quick chugga a ice cold beer...I'm thinkin' those commercials make your gaping doojie all moist and twitchy. And I'm also bettin' that every time you see Merlin Olsen in some show or commercial you weep for what could have been. > > Give me a little facial hair, some razor stubble, a healthy five > o'clock shadow; chest hair. Give me a big, burly, bear of a man that > is scented of things manly. So your ideal man is who...Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble? > >Y'all must be indoctrinated with the goodness that is Rurouni Kenshin! > > Suiteki de atama ni anao akerarete iru yona kokoromochi deshita. > Kazoku sorrote no seppuku ga yokatta. Harawata no kobore guai ni hin > ga atta! Watakshi no nozomi dori no shinikata deshita ne. > > Omawarisan! Chikan o tsukamaete! Bootiga! Nandiska o succi wa shitikaka ho!! ML