From: Jeff Huo Organization: Denziens of the Wolverine White Coat Ghetto Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: TAN: Band of Brothers Date: Wed, 02 Jan 2002 10:46:19 -0500 Alex Goddard wrote: > In article , > Jamie Bowden wrote: > > [Conspiracies. Sort of.] > > > I didn't join in this little conspiracy, as I wasn't contacted by aliens. > > Well, Jeff, sure; but I wouldn't have figured Anne as someone hiding her > tentacles and anntenae from us. Ah, yes, Mr. Goddard. Please just step over here and look right at the neuralyzer I'm holding right here in my eighth sub-ocular proboscis. No, that's the fourth. No, up *here*, Mr. Goddard. No, that's not what you think it is. No, I *don't* use these six to cheat at poker. What the hell do I look like, Londo Mollari? What's a neuralyzer? Well it's-- oh, never mind. *No* you can't have one! *No* I'm not going to let you "just play with it!" Darn it, just sit down and look closely -- *BRIGHT-ASSED FLASH* Hey! Come back here! You're supposed to look at it, not duck at the last moment --sorry 'bout your roommate --hey, hey! *BRIGHT-ASSED FLASH* --put the damned mirror down-- *BRIGHT-ASSED FLASH* *BRIGHT-ASSED FLASH* Don't touch that! Don't touch that --oh shit-- don't point it at me! _Don't_point_that_end_-- *ZOT ZOT ZOT* (crash crumble) *BLAM!* *BRIGHT-ASSED FLASH* *ZOT* Ow! This ain't Team Fortress Halflife, boy! That shit hurts when it hits! Like really *hurts!* Your RA is going to be seriously pissed when she finds out you took down the back fifty rooms with that Rigelian Boom-Stick-- and trust me, you do *not* want a Camassi pissed at you! (muffled shouting back) (whispered) Shit. Boy's read Stackpole. *Knew* that was going to come back and nip us in the bud -- (shouting) Okay, fine, so maybe they're not the most bad-ass mothers in the galaxy. You don't want *me* to whip out the *real* whoop-ass now, do you? (muffled shouting back again) Why, yes, that damn thing has a rapid-fire mode --oh shit-- *Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZOT!!* (crash boom crash) That's it! The gloves come off! (deep breath) I'm a tellin' Maggie on ya! (pause) *FLASH FLASH FLASH* We get him? We get him? Ah. Damnit, why can't anything go the simple way around here! Somebody go take Alex and lay him down on the couch in the lobby. I mean the lobby that's still standing! And make sure the saftey's on the damn thing! Put a few empty bottles of Maker's Mark around him and some of that stuff spilled on his shirt. (brief discussion) What, he doesn't drink that stuff? Come on, people, we've got mind-frick devices from a hundred different alien cultures 'round here and you're asking me about a teensy-weensy little mental discrepancy? Do I have to spell everything out in Cliff's Notes? We could make this poor boy think he was Julio Iglesias channeling Lord Hunk-Ra the Excessively Barbaric, for crying out loud! We could make him think he was flying through the moons of Jupiter! We could even make him wear plaid and read Piers Anthony's Phaze books and *like* it! How hard would it be to make him think he went on a bender? (brief discussion) Okay, fine, get Jack Daniels instead of Maker's Mark. Okay, fine, you guys get to empty the bottles first. Sheesh, what the heck is this, Delta Tau Chi or the Men in Black? -Jeff -- Jeff Huo | jeff@spundreams.net.nospam (remove nospam) U. Michigan Med | http://www.spundreams.net/~jeff New to the group? Welcome! Please read http://www.landfield.com/faqs/sf/robert-jordan-faq/ http://www.spundreams.net/~jeff/rasfwrjians2.html