Subject: TAN: Flame Response Form Date: 9 Jul 1998 08:53:57 GMT From: "Leigh D. Butler" Organization: University of Texas at Austin Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Given the recent atmosphere in rasfrwr-j, I thought that this might be helpful for newbies and oldbies alike. Hope it doesn't come out screwy on everyone's readers. Share and Enjoy! FLAME RESPONSE FORM If you are part of any newsgroups, you are all too aware of the craziness of being part of such a group: Threads (continuing discussions) which last a lifetime, insanely boorish comments and the all too common trite replies "I agree". Well there is now a standard reply form for FLAMING (listed under the government e-mail paperwork reduction act), submitted here for your convenience and enjoyment. P.S. If you are new to the Web, read carefully to avoid being flamed yourself. Dear: [ ] sir [ ] clueless one [ ] twit [ ] great man on campus [ ] madam [ ] dweeb [ ] twerp [ ] comrade [ ] Elvis [ ] moon beam [ ] boor [ ] troll [ ] geek [ ] boob [ ] Communist [ ] Conservative [ ] Republican [ ] Democrat [ ] Liberal [ ] Student [ ] Other: You are being gently flamed because: -------------------- GENERAL -------------------- [ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps) [ ] you posted the inanely stupid "Make Money Fast" article [ ] you posted the inanely stupid "$250 Cookie Recipe" article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic weight-loss article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap shit at high prices article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Fix Your Credit" article [ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Good Time Virus" warning [ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor [ ] you have a .sig with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics [ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet [ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon [ ] you repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff [ ] you repeatedly asked when the next book is going to be out [ ] you repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie, or Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions -------------- FOR NEWSGROUPS: -------------- [ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread [ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread you just posted to [ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads [ ] you put your reply above the quoted text [ ] you advocated Net censorship [ ] you failed to attribute and/or quote the previous post [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve [ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread [ ] you are posting anonymously [ ] you responded to an obvious troll [ ] you posted an obvious troll [ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject [ ] you asked a question that was covered in the FAQ [ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over [ ] you think Elayne and Rand are related [ ] you crossposted excessively [ ] you used lines longer than 70-75 characters [ ] you posted a request to send business/get well cards to a little boy with cancer who is trying to break the Guiness World Record [ ] over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post [ ] over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and your addition was "I agree" or "Me too" [ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup: [ ] hollow earth theory [ ] alien President theory [ ] orbital mind control frisbees [ ] faith healing [ ] government weather control [ ] Russian psychics [ ] Squeaky Fromme [ ] the nation of France [ ] robot spy bees [ ] sexually promiscuous space aliens [ ] the sudden death of a certain author [ ] Beavis & Butthead anything [ ] flat earth theory [ ] government conspiracy theory [ ] the veracity of any X-Files plot (see all of the above) [ ] Other: [ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources: [ ] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955 [ ] Any program covered by Talk Soup or [ ] SNL News [ ] Oliver Stone [ ] Hard Copy [ ] Inside Edition [ ] The National Enquirer [ ] The Sun [ ] NY Post [ ] The Union Leader [ ] Pravda [ ] OMNI Magazine [ ] company marketing hype [ ] Microsoft [ ] The Simpsons [ ] an unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication [ ] Other: In the future, you may wish to: [ ] allow boring and useless threads to die [ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded [ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the Net [ ] remember that the Internet is multinational [ ] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you [ ] exercise some humility [ ] be careful of where you are crossposting to [ ] lurk without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group [ ] get used to being mocked [ ] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmaceutical experiments I would like to suggest that, for the common good, you: [ ] read the FAQ [ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages [ ] post only to alt.dev.null [ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post [ ] RAFO [ ] no longer contribute to this newsgroup [ ] no longer contribute to any newsgroup [ ] no longer contribute to the gene pool [ ] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems [ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet [ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of: [ ] patience [ ] tolerance [ ] common courtesy [ ] succinctness [ ] vocabulary/spelling [ ] caution [ ] higher brain functions [ ] reinstall whatever failed mental operating system you are currently running on [ ] Other: Please save this message and review it occasionally to determine your progress toward being: [ ] a useful member of Internet society [ ] a less annoying member of Internet society [ ] a human being [ ] a fully-functional human being [ ] a tolerable poster [ ] integrated into humanity [ ] re-integrated into the wild [ ] Other: -- Leigh Butler leighbutler@mail.utexas.edu UIN: 13474651 *************************** "If I wore my hair natural like you, Vera, I'd be bald."