Message-ID: <4.1.20000430171003.009fa7c0@j.imap.itd.umich.edu>
Date: Sun, 30 Apr 2000 17:12:12 -0500
To: Maggie <princessmoo@accesstoledo.com>
From: Jeffrey Sean Huo <jeffshuo@umich.edu>
Subject: Re: Hello, Warder dear...
In-Reply-To: <3909C64F.801641F3@accesstoledo.com>
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Status: U

Subject: Re: TAN: Chicago DFS, A Newbie's Report
From: jeff@nospam.starfall.com (Jeff Huo)
Date: 11/17/99 2:13 AM

In article <80t34e$fos$1@news.doit.wisc.edu>,
mkozlows@guy.ssc.wisc.edu says...
> In article <slrn8343cf.5ip.merhawk@value.net>,
> Hawk <merhawk@value.netDELETEDELETEDELETE> wrote:
> >In article <80mv1l$118c$1@news.doit.wisc.edu>, Mike Kozlowski wrote:
> >
> >>order, I have to report that he's a complete badass in person.)  I'll
> >>confess that I was a bit surprised by Hawk, though; I wasn't expecting
> >>her to be quite as bubbly as she was.  I imagine this is because I
> >>hadn't seen any pictures of her, so was expecting someone more like
> >>Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2, and less like Mary Martin in Peter Pan.
> >
> >Trolling for a beating.  How original.
>
> Oh, I was just kidding.  I wouldn't say that you were bubbly, or Peter
> Pan-like.
>
> No, I think that "perky" and "Tinkerbell-esque" are better descriptors.
>

...

----- BEGIN ARTICLE ------

November 17th, 1999

Police at Loss to Explain Chaos in Madison Suburb

Filed at 8:30 a.m. EST

By The Associated Press

MADISON, Wisc. (AP) --Authorities in this normally quiet
suburb of Madison are describing last night's chaos as
"somebody getting their arse throughly and well kicked out
of our plane of existence."

Eye-witness accounts describe a panicked goateed
man, tentatively identified as Michael Kozlowski, a recent
graduate of UW-Madison in Computer Science and History,
desperately attempting to start a car packed full of weapons
and survival gear when suddenly, just after 8:15 PM, an
extremely bright light opened up next to the car and
an unknown but determined young woman, flanked by four
powerful men with swords, stepped out of what witnesses
describe as a "gateway in midair."

"It was almost like he was expecting them to show up,"
another eyewitness volunteered. "One moment he was gunning
the motor, trying to get the car started, the next, up shows
up this whole group of bad-ass mothers coming right from
nowhere! The guy with the goatee screams 'You? No!!' and
tries to run, but he don't get far. It's like an unseen hand
--like a tangle of air or something-- grabs a hold of him
and drags him back. Then the four guys take hold of his
limbs, pull him inside, and then the screaming begins."

911 calls to local police in the minutes after reported loud
screaming, cursing, explosions, and violent tremors just
before a unexplained power surge that caused every
electrical circuit within a ten mile radius to short out,
plunging the entire area into darkness, save for a pillar of
unearthly fire rising from the center of the area straight
into the sky. The total loss of communications and power,
coupled with lack of knowledge of the situation, and roads
jammed with panicked residents attempting to flee, caused
local authorities to wait until daylight this morning to
enter the area, backed by several companies of Mechanized
Infantry drawn from local National Guard units.

Upon reaching the site of the reported incident, troops
found the driveway and street in front of Mr. Kozlowski's
residence jammed with cars mostly with Illinois, Indiana,
and Ohio license plates, although one car with a "Don't mess
with me --I'm a physicist" bumper sticker bore Connecticut
plates, and another car bore Harvard Medical School parking
tags. Inside were over a dozen unknown individuals all
claiming to be beneficiaries of Mr. Kozlowski's will busily
boxing up household effects. "I mean," one woman wearing a
"I (heart) Toledo" sweatshirt loading a heavy box into her
trunk said, "I know he would have wanted us to have his
stuff if he had known he was going to be wiped off the face
of the earth. And he -did- know it was coming." When asked
to explain how Mr. Kozlowski could have known, the woman
declined further explanation.

"I'm sure what we're doing is legal," another man
volunteered as he helped her carry out several crates of
electronic equipment. "After all," he explained, "I -did-
just pass the #$@!! bar."

"Bloody hell," one gentleman was seen complaining, "I come
all the way in from Britain and all that's left is a stack
of David Eddings books?" When pressed to explain what
brought him all the way across the Atlantic to this suburb
of Madison, the gentleman stalked off, mumbling something
about reporters, Lists, and the Glorious New Order.

"It's not like we're stealing," a short Chinese man in a
"Michigan Wolverines" sweatshirt explained, "he won't be
needing all these books anymore, and I'm sure he would have
not wanted all this great stuff to go to waste. Anyway,"
picking up a box, "everyone tells me I should be reading the
Vorkosigan series, and now I have the whole set!"

----    END ARTICLE -------

--
Jeff Huo | jeff@nospam.starfall.com
U. Michigan Med | http://www.starfall.com/~jeff

New to the group? Welcome! Please read
http://www.landfield.com/faqs/sf/robert-jordan-faq/

_______________________________________________________________

Live to serve others.                                         | Jeffrey Huo
Seize the moment.                                          | University of
Michigan
And remember, nothing is impossible                | Medical School
if you try hard enough. CARPE DIEM!               | 734-669-8601 (apt.)
 -Found written on a rock                                 | 734-615-4857
(lab)
        on the coast of Lake                              |
jeffshuo@umich.edu
        Michigan, Fall 1995                               |
jeff@starfall.com

He only earns his freedom and his life who take them every day by storm.
                -From Goethe's Faust

http://www.starfall.com/~jeff | http://www.umich.edu/~jeffshuo
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