From e98jgu@efd.lth.se Mon Mar 13 15:23:34 2000
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan
Subject: TAN: Yet more SP-inspired filk
From: e98jgu@efd.lth.se (Johan Gustafsson)
Date: 13 Mar 2000 20:23:34 GMT

After seeing Alex's hilarious SP/WoT filk, I pretty much had to 
write this.

DISCLAIMER: I like Faile. I honestly do.


<scene: Rand, Perrin and Mat are standing in the snow>

Mat:
Weeellll...

Perrin: "Don't say it, Matrim!"

Mat:
Weeellll...

Perrin: "Don't do it, Matrim!"

Mat:
Weeellll...

Perrin: "I'm warning you!"

Mat: "Sheesh, okay."

Perrin: "I'm getting pretty sick of him calling my wife a..."

Mat:
Weeellll...
Faile's a bitch
She's a big fat bitch
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a flamin' bitch
And a Shadowspawn bitch
She's a bitch to all the Randlanders

In Taisham she's a bitch
In Jumara she's a bitch
In Saban to Nesan she's a bitch
And in Danu just to be different
She's a super bajad drovja bii-yatch

Have you ever met my friend Perrin's wife
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a bloody bitch
With a stupid nose
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
She's a stupid bitch
Faile's a bitch
And a regular Nine Horse Hitch

<Faile approaches behind Mat's back, raising a dagger>

Mat:
I really mean it
Faile
She's a big fat flamin' biiii--

<The word still hung in the air while death took him>



(As Alex noted, there are a few places were the syllables don't add up, 
but it's nothing that you can't get past...)

Johan Gustafsson
-- 
"No matter how I picture the events of a rubber stamp party, It scares me to
death. I can't explain the visions of madness in my head, but imagine a 
mariachi band made up of midgets building penis shaped sand castles and 
reciting welding part shipping lists. That's as close as I can come." 
-Seanbaby