From jrowat@prince.carleton.ca Mon Nov 13 05:35:14 2000 Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: TAN: The True Solution to the US Presidential Debate From: John Rowat Date: 13 Nov 2000 10:35:14 GMT I've got the simple, easy solution to decide who gets to be President. Not a footrace, as Jay Leno suggests, or a barehanded fight to the death, as a good friend of mine implies might be the answer, but instead, I suggest that the new President be the amalgamate entity Bushgor The Mighty. "BUSHGOR SMART, LIKE CONAN!" said he, when asked about his potential nomination. "YOU THINK YOU START WAR? BUSHGOR SMASH!" Never again would there be claims that America does not have strong leadership. Bushgor would prove this by biting an anvil in half before bench-pressing Janet Reno two million times in quick succession. "FUNNY LOOKING LADY THROW UP!" Never again would the world look at ineffectual UN peacekeeping forces - they would admire the determination of the US Army in carrying out Bushgor the Mighty's instruction of "CRUSH ENEMY. DRIVE BEFORE YOU. HEAR LAMENTASOMETHING OF THE WOMENS" and rally to his inspiring speech before the Security Council: "BUSHGOR LIKE RAMBO. WORST NIGHTMARE." Truly inspirational. (see also: http://www.chat.carleton.ca/~jrowat/ <- it applies here, too. The funky stuff on the bottom image is just bonus.) -John -- [The right to own a gun is...] The right to free expression. I can articulate my disagreement with you by shooting you -- thus, a gun is as protected as a pen or printing press. -Rob Russell