Date: Wed, 30 May 2001 21:54:30 -0500 From: Jeff Huo Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: TAN: Postcards from the Lab: Preach on, Broutha Gordon! In article , jsn@concentric.net says... > On Fri, 25 May 2001 22:40:11 -0400, Jamie Bowden wrote: > > >> This is the least of our goals for the 21st century, people. > >> Thirty years from now, we should *all* expect that kind of amazing > >> health, vitality, and longevity. > > >Then the Sharom will turn black, crack, and explode. > > DO NOT GIVE AWAY THE MASTER PLAN!! Uh-uh. No way we get to be so lucky. ----- SITUATION ROOM WHITE HOUSE WASHINGTON DC, YEAR 2029 AD THE PRESIDENT: Explain this to me one more time? SCIENCE ADVISOR: Well, Mr. President, due to a horrible accident resulting from a glitch arising from a computer virus that purposefully triggered off some legacy code that hadn't been ported from the original Pascal, a major Nano-industrial complex has suffered a catastropic failure and has unleashed a tide of matter assemblers with a unique programming sub-matrix upon everything west of the Rockies, and heading eastwards. THE PRESIDENT (examining the holovids of the destruction): And what exactly *are* those nanites turning everything human they come across into? SCIENCE ADVISOR: I believe they are called Tele-tubbies, sir. THE PRESIDENT: Tele-tubbies. SCIENCE ADVISOR: Yes, Sir. THE PRESIDENT: And you're saying that the nanites responsible are rapidly spreading across the country, converting everything in their path into mindless blobs of flesh that are sickly cute Incarnate? SCIENCE ADVISOR: Yes, Sir. THE PRESIDENT: And all of this was apparently the work of a hidden consipiracy of sentient rabbits that have been plotting the destruction of humanity for the last two hundred years? SCIENCE ADVISOR: Yes, Sir. THE PRESIDENT: And those nanites could be in the air around us, converting our Precious Bodily Fluids into something infernal right this very minute? SCIENCE ADVISOR: Yes, Sir. THE PRESDIENT: (mulls) SCIENCE ADVISOR (in a strange voice): Mr. President? THE PRESIDENT: Yes? SCIENCE ADVISOR: (high pitched, cutsie-anime-girl voice) Do you think we really need to destroy the Buns? I mean, they're so bubbly and happy and cuddly and oopsie cute and-- THE PRESIDENT : Marine? MARINE GUARD: Yes Sir? THE PRESIDENT: Your sidearms. Both of them. MARINE GUARD: Yes, Sir! **BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!** (pauses momentarily) SCIENCE ADVISOR: "I luv you...you luv me..." **BLAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!*** THE PRESIDENT: Fscking symp -- *BLAM* -- That's it. Sargent? Gimme the damn Football. It's time to give the cockroaches their turn at running the world... ----- Hope all is well, -Jeff "Arise, arise, Riders of El'Mahr! / Fell deeds awake: Fire and slaughter..." [1] [1] Okay, that's it. When I start channeling Dr. Lawrence "Lord Death" Kralk channeling Theoden Son of Thengel, King of the Mark it's *definately* time for bed.... [2] Symps, El'Mahr, Lord Death -- 0.001 pnts for understanding the Usenet group being referenced. And my sympathies for being crazed enough to know... -- Jeff Huo | jeff@spundreams.net.nospam (remove nospam) U. Michigan Med | http://www.spundreams.net/~jeff New to the group? Welcome! Please read http://www.landfield.com/faqs/sf/robert-jordan-faq/ http://www.spundreams.net/~jeff/rasfwrjians2.html